Georgetown Hires Chris Holtmann (April Fools)

Discussion in 'Articles' started by Jared Grubbs, Apr 1, 2017.

By Jared Grubbs on Apr 1, 2017 at 11:52 AM
  1. Jared Grubbs

    Jared Grubbs Administrator Staff Member

    Money:
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    Note: this article was originally posted on April 1st and is an April Fools article.

    It's happening again. The Butler Bulldogs are losing yet another successful coach to a higher paying job. Chris Holtmann has accepted a 7 year, $30 million offer to coach the conference rival Georgetown Hoyas. Georgetown fired coach John Thompson III after back to back losing seasons snapped an 11 year run above .500.

    Many will point to the contract as the reason for Holtmann's departure, but the former Butler coach says it's not about the money. "I recently read an article online that made me realize my potential for success here is really limited. It's almost impossible to get future NBA players to come here and you can't get past the Sweet 16 without those 5 star recruits. Georgetown just has inherent advantages that blow Butler away in every regard."

    Holtmann will be tasked with getting Georgetown back to the Sweet 16 for the first time in 11 years. He was asked why it would be easier to recruit at Georgetown compared to a school that has been to four Sweet 16s and two Final Fours since 2007, the last time Georgetown won multiple tournament games. "Kids don't care about stuff like winning when picking a school," Holtmann replied. "All they care about are facilities and getting to the next level. Georgetown has some of the top facilities in the country and a solid history of getting players drafted. When was the last time you turned on an NBA All-Star game and saw a former Butler Bulldog?"

    The recent success at Purdue and the coaching change at Indiana also played a role in Holtmann's decision. "I just had to get out of Indiana. The state isn't big enough for four successful teams. That's why I was so upset when I learned about Tom Crean's firing after our victory in Milwaukee. I knew he was going to continue to drive that program into the ground. Archie will have them winning championships in no time. Last year 16% of our minutes came from kids from the state of Indiana, and that's just not sustainable moving forward if we have an elite Big Ten team 90 minutes down the road."

    For the Bulldogs, it's now up to athletic director Barry Collier to find someone to carry on the Butler Way. "We will hire a search committee to evaluate all of our options," Collier stated in a news conference. "The most likely scenario is we promote someone in house. It can be really tough to find someone to take the job when it's so difficult to win here. Five Sweet 16s and two Final Fours through four different coaches in the past 15 years show just how difficult it is to win with all of the limitations in place here. Who wants to come into that?"

    The good news for the Bulldogs is that all of the incoming freshman that make up Butler's top 20 recruiting class say they still plan to attend Butler next year. "Where else would I go?" 4 star Kyle Young stated. "Butler was my only high major offer. I wanted to go somewhere with better facilities, but places like Purdue, Ohio State, or Michigan wanted nothing to do with me. I'll have to settle for practicing in Hinkle Fieldhouse everyday. And with the way the message board criticized every move Coach Holtmann made all season long, this might be a blessing anyways."

    Author note: If you have read this far on April 1st and still haven't realized this is an April Fool's joke then...well...I'm not even sorry. Chris Holtmann is still the coach of the Butler Bulldogs and there are currently no rumors suggesting he might be leaving. It's still a great day to be a Bulldog.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2017
    nicklas_early, #60, bwesson15 and 4 others like this.

Comments

Discussion in 'Articles' started by Jared Grubbs, Apr 1, 2017.

    1. Sidd Finch
      Sidd Finch
      Very funny. You actually had me for awhile. The last sentence of the second paragraph was my first clue. I knew by the 3rd paragraph. I really got a good laugh out of, "I knew he (Crean) was going to continue to drive that program into the ground."

      Well done, Jared.
    2. cornette33
      cornette33
      Completely had me here. I was panicking. That was not cool.
      jeff likes this.
    3. Jared Grubbs
      Jared Grubbs
      Thanks. I'm being mean to everyone seeing it here for the first time. On social media I was nice and promoted the article as a joke. I really wanted to promote it as a real article (not only would it have been funny but it would have driven traffic), but I was worried about recruits seeing the headline and not reading the link. I didn't want to make Holtmann have to answer any questions today!


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops
      kmacker69 likes this.
    4. Ignatius J. Reilly
      Ignatius J. Reilly
      You MONSTER


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops
    5. pjohnsto2003
      pjohnsto2003
      Yeah - the quotes did not even sound like anything he would ever say. Especially like the "driving the program into the ground" quote in referencing Crean, though. That was a good dig.


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops
    6. WestLoopDog
      WestLoopDog
      Well done! The quotations from Holtmann and Collier were definitely the best part.

      You could have added a Holtmann statement about his disappointment that VP Mike Pence didn't make it to the Butler tournament game, so this move would increase his chances of meeting Pence (and even Trump).
    7. seadawg
      seadawg
      Not fooled for one second but nice try....
      Last edited: Apr 1, 2017
    8. BURph92
      BURph92
      Jared, you made my heart jump there at first. Heck, Gtown supposedly offered Chris Mack $4M/yr so why not go after our guy next.


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops
    9. FRENCH DAWG
      FRENCH DAWG
      An appropriate April Fool's Day gotcha.


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops
    10. Jared Grubbs
      Jared Grubbs
      I think everyone here will kill me if it comes true.


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops
    11. HinkleLegend
      HinkleLegend
      It is childish and unprofessional for a media outlet to try and scare people with article headlines like this. I will say the mocking of the Tom Davis article was hilarious though. Just put "satire" in the article headline next time.
    12. Hinkle
      Hinkle
      You serious Clark?


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops mobile app
      UDDawg likes this.
    13. HinkleLegend
      HinkleLegend
      Clark? Yes, I am serious. Fake news is stupid. It's only purpose is to get people to click on a link.
    14. shoeevv
      shoeevv
      What do you think the great Sid Finch thinks of this story . . .
    15. Sidd Finch
      Sidd Finch
      I've already commented. And there's two d's, not one;)

      Greatest April Fools joke of all time.
    16. shoeevv
      shoeevv

      And I don't mean "our "
    17. pjohnsto2003
      pjohnsto2003
      It was in jest and in the spirit of April 1. Not like Jared put something out there and left us all hanging out to dry. Or, God forbid, just posted to let people speculate.

      Get over it.


      Sent from my iPhone using Butler Hoops

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